Really Scared

I'm feeling the walls closing in around me. My usual response to this is to hide, I'm trying not to do that but I am.

Steve is still in ICU. The main issue right now is pain. He is still struggling respiratory wise but he's as stable as he's probably going to get, at least for now. Apparently he is having complications from the biopsy and now has pleurisy. They are starting him on morphine today. Once he's stable enough they are sending him to inpatient rehab. They can help him with his lung issues and pain management so he can come home.

This is a whole new game for us. He is going to have to go on disability, for how long I have no idea. We are depleted. Steve has struggled these last eight months to work and keep our heads above water but now we're sinking. I was trying so hard to be positive and make it work for so long but right now I'm staring at a 48 hour PG&E notice and the same with the water bill. Steve's dad helped with the house payment this month but I don't know what we'll do next month. The church has been wonderful with food, that has been such a blessing. I'm not even opening the medical bills right now.

I don't know how much more I can do. I know I have to but I'm just really scared. I guess I need to sit down and figure this out.